How to Get the Most Out of Your Divorce Lawyer

Let’s say you’ve chosen the right lawyer for your type of case, your personality, and your bank

account. A productive attorney-client relationship can speed the progress of your case. And a poor relationship can delay it substantially. You can optimize your relationship with your lawyer in a number of ways.

Start by avoiding mistakes from your last partnership—the one that sent you to a divorce lawyer

in the first place. For example, one of the biggest relationship poisons is the harboring of unrealistic expectations. This applies as much to your relationship with your lawyer as with your spouse. Your lawyer can only do so much. She can’t change the facts of your case. She cannot, for example, magically increase your net worth, or transform your spouse into parent-of-the-year. Similarly, your lawyer’s conduct is controlled by court rules that she must follow whether or not they make sense to you.

It’s also unrealistic to expect your lawyer to act as your therapist. First of all, lawyers are not trained to provide therapeutic services. They cannot tell, for example, whether suffering you may be enduring is a direct result of your divorce or is caused by more than one aspect of your circumstances or general mental health.

Second, you don’t want to be paying a lawyer’s hourly rates for help that you can get for much less. For that, find a therapist who is experienced in helping people through divorce. You’ll save money and get the care you need. Another mistake to avoid is contorting your personality or behavior to what you think will “work best” with your lawyer. Don’t, for example, be overly compliant in your dealings with your lawyer. You have the right to have her attend to your case in a timely manner and to answer your questions fully. On the other hand, you don’t want to be overly skeptical or contentious A healthy attorney-client relationship, just like any personal relationship, requires both partners to be engaged and mindful. That means, for example, that you should communicate clearly and listen carefully, and that you shouldn’t hesitate to ask questions when you don’t understand something.