In this third in a three-part series on how to avoid the most common mistakes made by people
going through divorce, we look at four additional traps for the unwary. Seek advice from experienced divorce professionals to avoid these blunders!
Failing to put together a reasonable set of goals.
Even if you mediate or represent yourself, you should obtain legal advice to ensure that your goals are sensible and achievable. Don’t fight for a house that you can’t carry, or demand a parenting schedule that you can’t live up to.
2. Allowing emotion to cloud your judgment.
Understand the difference between “emotional divorce” and the “legal divorce” process that requires resolving legal and financial matters. Don’t begin mediation or settlement negotiations until you are able to discuss and resolve matters dispassionately. And don’t fulfill short-term needs at the expense of long-term ones.
3. “Giving in.”
If you think you might become intimidated by your spouse or exhausted by the
divorce process, choose a strong advocate or proactive mediator who will not permit strong-
arm tactics or fatigue to dictate results.
4. Failing to educate yourself about divorce.
Your state’s judicial department and/or bar association websites will have material regarding divorce in your state. Otherwise, choose books and other materials written by experienced matrimonial lawyers and judges, or offered by select professional organizations such as the American Bar Association and the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
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