This is the second in a three-part series on avoiding common divorce mistakes. Each of the
following mistakes is avoidable with guidance from experienced divorce professionals. The following are some major “Don’ts” that can cause serious problems:
Don’t place your interests ahead of your children’s.
When your goals conflict with what is best for your children, you must put your children first. For example, a parenting plan that requires a perfectly even division of the children’s time with each parent may seem reasonable and fair. But to whom? If the resulting schedule requires excessive travel back and forth, it unnecessarily complicates and interrupts the kids’ routines. Is a rigid formula that gives a parent a win, worth disrupting the children’s lives?
2. Don’t neglect investigating your self-employed spouse’s “real earnings.”
Spousal and child support are based primarily on the spouses’ earnings. If your spouse owns a business, make sure to consult with an accountant, certified divorce financial analyst and/or a matrimonial lawyer to help you figure out what your spouse really makes, taking into consideration personal expenses run through the business and “paper” losses and deductions that make your spouse’s income appear to be much less than it actually is.
3. Don’t trade property in your settlement that is not subject to tax, for property
that is taxable.
Some of the most common pieces of property, or “assets” that contain hidden taxes are:
Retirement assets that are taxed upon withdrawal (and subject to a 10% penalty for early withdrawal)
Stocks with low cost-bases (essentially what was paid for the asset when it was purchased) that will be subject to capital gains tax upon sale
Depreciated rental real estate that will be subject to capital gains tax upon sale
4. Don’t tell your lawyer only part of the story.
Facts you neglect to share with your lawyer have a habit of popping up at the worst possible times… like during depositions and court hearings. It’s far better to prepare your lawyer, and help her prepare you, for what might be vulnerabilities.
5. Don’t take advice from sources other than qualified professionals or forums hosted
by reputable organizations.
Accept emotional support, not legal advice, from friends and family
members. Also, be wary of divorce websites that misstate or overgeneralize legal concepts that might not apply to your case in the first place. Resources offered for free on the websites of your state judiciary or bar association are helpful to understand how the divorce process works in your state. For more detailed information about how to maximize your results in financial and child-related matters, choose books by family lawyers.
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