Too many folks going through divorce make major mistakes that waste their money, put their
children in harm’s way and prevent them from reaching their financial and child-related goals. Here are two of the most common ones:
Choosing the wrong type of divorce.
If you and your spouse share the desire to achieve a fair result in an efficient cost-effective manner, you would be foolish not to consider alternative dispute resolution (ADR). The most common forms of divorce ADR are mediation and collaborative divorce. In both processes, participants begin working toward settlement from Day One. The spouses are at all times directly involved in the settlement process and thus have more control over it than parties to “traditional” (court-based) divorces.
On the other hand, if your spouse is “out for blood” or seeking to impose his/her will on you, ADR will most likely be a waste of time and money. Ideally, the choice between ADR and the traditional “court-based” process should be the first divorce decision that you make. It impacts everything that comes afterward, including your choice of divorce professionals to assist you.
2. Proceeding without professional advice.
Failure to at least consult with a lawyer at the beginning of your divorce drastically reduces your chances for a successful outcome. A 90-minute consultation with an experienced divorce lawyer can provide you with a wealth of information. To get the most from an initial consultation, bring your income tax returns for the last three years, a W-2 or other documentation of current earnings, and a list of your significant assets and debts with values, or “net worth statement.” Even better, provide this information to the lawyer ahead of time so that she will has time to evaluate your case and give you a range of likely outcomes when you meet with her.
There are other divorce professionals such as certified divorce financial planners and
divorce coaches who can help with financial and child-related issues respectively. There are also
numerous ways to limit attorneys’ fees that don’t require eliminating lawyers altogether. One is
alternative dispute resolution or “ADR,” which includes mediation and collaborative divorce,
processes in which the spouses participate directly in the resolution of their cases. Another, called “unbundled” or “discrete task” representation allows an arrangement in which a lawyer performs specified tasks only, and you can handle routine tasks such as obtaining and organizing information and documents, and even routine court status calls.
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